october

by uzwi

The exploratory month. Walk for miles looking for what you don’t find. Look for it all the places you checked last time. You are not exactly marking territory. Your anxieties have receded but remain perceptible. You would certainly prefer to be somewhere you never went before. Failing that you divide the familiar into smaller & smaller segments, test the shadow of one tree on one wall, turn a corner, look down a lane. Air full of companionable gold light, flecks of it on the leaves & bay windows. Is there a world in here ? Does it contain one hundred percent of itself ? Is that enough ? If you could just arrive at some beach you saw from a car twenty years ago: there would be plenty there to get inside.

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