this is so weird

I don’t remember setting up a Facebook. Here at the Ambiente Hotel, of course, it’s hard to tell one day from another as they pass in the featureless gloom of senility etc etc; but I’m sure I would remember doing that. I woke up sweating in the night. I thought: what if you have to get a Facebook now, or they just do it for you ? I know I should be grateful to be given a helping hand into modernity, but somehow–I can’t think why–I only feel invaded.

(Whoever you are, please give C. Phillips a credit for her photograph. And don’t mine the Wikipedia entry for data. Why propagate a lot of woolly-minded crap riddled with factual errors ? Oh, yes, of course, it’s the internet isn’t it ?)

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12 responses to “this is so weird

  1. matrixless

    Facebook is ten steps below blogging. When you get there, it is generally understood you have already colored your hair so that you look a lot more like a product than you did before. The other steps aren’t as disturbing, and you have probably gone through them without even noticing it.

    If your hair isn’t colored, then you at least know you should never have set up that facebook account either.

  2. Joe

    It’s not really a Facebook profile. It’s a “fan” profile so people can become fans of M John Harrison or Oprah Winfrey. Think of it as a way of people letting their friends know they like you.

    And that wouldn’t stop you from creating your own profile. Now that could be scary.

  3. Z

    There’s an m john harrison group as well:

    They’re not facebook profiles/accounts. As Joe said, it’s just a way for people to express their admiration of your work and have discussions- like any internet fansite or forum.

  4. uzwi

    Thanx Matrixless, Joe & Z. I get that now. At least I haven’t coloured my hair.

  5. perhaps a nice blue-violet stripe in the goatee?

  6. uzwi

    Hi Mia. I’ll get something from L’Oreal tomorrow…

  7. Martin

    I have an “entry,” too – but fortunately, no picture. A nation turns its back and gags, and all that.

  8. Val

    Hi John, I created the Facebook fan page. I’m really horrified that you’re upset about it. If you’d like me to delete it, please say so and I’ll do so immediately. It’s really unfortunate that the page posts updates as if it’s you.


    Delete the fan page altogether.

    You nominate another Facebook user to take over as admin. (Possibly the best solution, since someone might recreate the fan page if I delete it… not sure how that works).

    You create a Facebook account and control it yourself (though based on the “I woke up sweating in the night” comment, I assume this is the last thing you want to do).

    In the mean time, I added a photo credit for Cath Phillips.

    I feel horrible! :-(

  9. uzwi

    Hi Val. We can’t have you feeling horrible.

    Because the page updates as if it’s me, I thought someone had set it up on my behalf without asking. This caused me great terror & sense of helplessness. Various people–as you can see from the comments above–have sorted me out on that, & a good thing too.

    Cath will be glad to have a credit for her picture, & I’d be pleased if you would continue with the admin of the page. If you’d like material for it–if it’s that kind of thing–just ask.

  10. uzwi

    PS: most people call me Mike, by the way.

  11. Val

    Whew. Sounds good. I’ll be sure to delete any updates in the future that sound as if they are coming from you personally.

    In fact, from now on, I won’t post anything at all unless you specifically request it — for example, an announcement of a new book. But assuming you won’t think about it again, I’ll leave the page in its current state for perpetuity.

    Again, please let me know if you ever change your mind and I will delete, abdicate or otherwise remove the page. (I know of one other author whose agent runs his fan page btw). I believe you have my email address (I’ve written into the Mail field while posting this).

    Thanks Mike. I *love* your work.

  12. uzwi

    Hi Val. An email is on its way to you.