volsie on kidultopia

In kidultopia, Volsie says, the old taboos have no power. Instead, alcoholic three year olds in thirty year old bodies control one anotherĀ  by use of the wordoids “creepy”, “inappropriate” & “ew”. Embrace yr ew, Volsie says. Live yr creepiness. If to escape mojito kidultopian toddler rhetoric is necessarily to fall foul of mojito kidultopian toddler rhetoric, well a ew’s got to do what a ew’s got to do. But never in any circumstances think of yrself as a vampire, werewolf, “serial killer” or zombie, or any other symbol of threat now annexed, literalised & defused by kidultopian spectacle, because that would be too embarrassing for words. Instead you should think of yrself as inappropriately not nice looking.

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12 responses to “volsie on kidultopia

  1. Okay, but can I look interesting?

  2. No, you can’t look interesting, nor can you be interesting, deep, or spiritual. These are worse traps than good, clever, and attractive (which would be obviously narcissistic, if only anyone could take them seriously).

  3. uzwi

    No, notmeguv, you may not. First, you cannot look interesting & be ew at the same time, as any kidult kno; interesting is urban fantasy & a Japanese haircut-thing. Second, to be seriously ew, you need to live in such a way that you can’t be found acceptable by someone who makes a living drawing glamorous comics about things that used to be taboo. I admit that’s difficult, but I think food stains & dementia help.

  4. Food stains and dementia? I fear I’m halfway there, but I’m having trouble remembering which half.

    OK, scratch the ‘halfway’.

  5. uzwi

    You are least safe from being annexed for yr image, matthew. I never yet saw a kickass superhero nouveau featuring foodstains. But to be certain, get some worsted trousers too short for you. I have.

  6. I don’t know: if Gibbons didn’t draw Rorschach with food stains, I fear it was an oversight. By the time we noticed that the antihero had become as hip as the antichrist, we were all irrecoverably lost.

    What hasn’t been annexed today, will be annexed tomorrow. If they haven’t already, food stains will go the way of the shabby beard. Pursuit of a complete lack of charisma is a Sisyphean task, but still one itches to roll the rock.

  7. What’s too embarrassing – for words? – is that I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about. But that happens to me a lot, though once upon a time I spoke English. Volsie??

  8. uzwi

    Try & worry less LLeeLowe. Volsie is with you now.

  9. Rusty Gold

    It’s hip to be jock. By which I don’t mean a person of Scottish origin. It’s never hip to be that all by itself. Or maybe it is, because it never is?

    Anyway, annexing: that’s a big dollar.

  10. Will C.

    What a fun blog (and I quite enjoy your books too).

    Is Volsie any relation to Tom O’Bedlam?

  11. uzwi

    Volsie will come to you soon, Will C, & you’ll know all about that.