disasters (1)

The world has been transformed into millions of acres of what looks like ash. Yet it is not ash. Look closer. It is used cat litter. It is caked & often appears dry, but beneath the surface it is thoroughly soaked in all the unevaporated cat urine the world has ever known. Every so often the weight of this substance overcomes its viscosity & a whole range of hills slides into the sea. The smell is tremendous. The air is corrosive. Valleys abound, between great sloping shoulders of wet cat litter, all without vegetation or human habitat. No one knows what happened. Many of the nice things, & all the practical ones, just seemed to vanish overnight & no one could get them back & this is what was left. Across the immeasurably bleak landscape strides a young woman dressed in a tight one-piece garment of her own design. She is making her way to what used to be south east England, where the parents of some really good friends have lent her a studio in a house they own? Which used to belong to a famous Edwardian writer? There she’s going to make the internet album which will banish the shadows in her soul. At her heels trots a little tragic poppet of a whippet.

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14 Comments

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14 responses to “disasters (1)

  1. Simon

    It is clear from this section that the author must have personal experience of cleaning out cat litter trays. This was a common domestic chore of the late 20th and early 21st centuries: dating the piece to that period. The acrid damp layer under the dry surface layer is a particularly telling detail.

    The sub-genre of cat-related disaster novel was a minor trend at best. No records exist of cats being interested in the fiction that resulted.

  2. MichaelO

    An unimaginitive pastiche of the Endtimes apocalypses so popular among the Southern Methodists during the Reagan Years. Where are the baroque fecal towers, where is the Commisar of Cats and His candied baby plantation, where are the Unrepentant Mice of Keynes?

  3. Occult revenge of Pussy Riot, by the looks of it. “Ooh, those Russians …”

  4. Well, maybe you shd just avoid The Observer Magazine then?

  5. uzwi

    iotar: I do so try.

  6. Simon

    Having to pick up warm dog crap as I do every morning, I still think I prefer your apocalypse to my apocalypse.

  7. Sounds like the realm of one of my favorite bloggers: http://muckyfat.tumblr.com/

  8. Simon: but surely a boon on a winter’s cold morn?

  9. Matt Thomas

    A world ultimately kippled?

  10. Catastrophic (someone had to).

  11. uzwi

    @ nigel foster: & about time, too.

  12. Simon

    @nigel: That is the dark secret that I dare not tweet.

  13. @Simon: careful, we’re straying into Sylvester territory.