the saturday interview

by uzwi

“I don’t fade, I don’t lose anything,” he says when you ask him to describe his condition. He seems happy and fit. He’s a tall man with a limp (the only sign of his accident, although he admits that he still gets tired). “It’s not a question of purchase on things. There doesn’t seem to be a down side.” This is accompanied by a rueful smile. “On the other hand, it isn’t much good for anything.” So, then, what is the experience actually like? It’s a question, you sense, that he’s often asked. The problem he has in answering it, he says, is that we allow ourselves only two possibities. “We only have the traditional guidelines: ‘A world of your own’, in which the detached ‘you’ has agency, but which contains no possibility of contact with others; or a world in which everyone else is seen, as if through glass, by an individual who has no agency: the choice between an empty world or a full one observed by a ghost.” He laughs. “But I don’t find it like that at all. I feel perfectly at home. I just have a new kind of subjectivity.” He stares out of the window for a while, as if he’s thought this through before and always come to the same conclusion. “Anyway, what are these kinds of questions to someone who can do what I can do?”